Yesterday, I was pulled off the floor to talk with our district manager. I thought I was either going to be asked to move up or to be let go. Neither was true, but instead, she wanted insight into the new hire experience. It was me and two other new hires from a different location, which one was a tomboi. We learned that Starbucks was apart of her coming out experience is a place to practice our leadership. She asked us the big question, “What do you want to do with your life and how does Starbucks play a role in your goals?” I felt myself begin to get nervous and anxious to answer the question because the green apron has always been my “teddy bear transitional” job. For the first time, I debated if I wanted to move up after refusing for six and a half years. Something in me said, “Move up. Why not? If anything, it’s going to put your leadership skills to test and an increase in pay isn’t a bad idea after moving to a new city.” But then I think of the responsibility and extra time and my gut (or fear) tell me not to.
It’s my turn. “As much as I want to say that I want to move up in the company, I truly enjoy bringing people together, whether it’s through open mics or volunteering. Essentially, I want to create a leadership organization for girls like myself (making eye contact with the tomboi across the table) who identify as a masculine of center queer womxn of color. I’m whole-heartedly a teacher and want to teach a curriculum about life. I want to build leaders from the back.” I start to choke up. “I’m sorry.” breathe I want to create something that my younger self needed, what I still need and what I’ll need in the future.”
My queer district manager starts to tear up, shares another story and states that Starbucks wants to support our goals, whatever they may be.
Lately, I’ve been reading a (Christian) book called “A Million Little Ways” by Emily P. Freeman that I picked up from my partner's mini-library. My recent chapters said to pay attention to moments when we cry and to start even if we don’t feel ready.
I’ve been consuming tons of content to make me feel ready, but after that talk yesterday, I realized I’m more ready than I’ll ever be and probably more ready than most people!
I know what I want and this is my manifestation to God and the Universe:
I create an on and offline platform that celebrates, educates, and promotes primarily masculine of center queer womxn of color also known as “tombois.” We come together through our own events such as open festivals, conferences, volunteering, workshops, socials, retreats, and travel. We have a professional network that allows us to provide services and resources made by us, for us, and with us. We develop our members personally and professionally through a mastermind and mentorship foundation. We guide them in becoming the leaders we need in our families and communities by providing a self-educated interest-based life curriculum. Our organization is designed to exist internationally, in places and spaces that need visibility, representation, and a core community, so we don’t have to go through life misunderstood and alone.
That’s it.
-K.S.